Climbing the Ranks
by BlackJackSilver
Summary: Complete- Friendship story. Jack and Norrington, in a tight situation, discover that they need each other but not in a slashy way. PG13 for language, violence, innuendo, naughty song, and mostly Jack


Disclaiming all knowledge, intention, ownership, rights to rights, right to profits, profit, prophets, lawyers, legal advice, and having no property, real or imagined, creative, intellectual, intangible, tangible, tangential or otherwise, I, the undersigned, do agree that someone, or a group of someones, is entitled to all credit, profit, rights, motives, perks, think Disney, think contracts, artists, not me, no not me. I am not of sane mind, do not exist- a shade, a figment, a shadow on what is in fact not a wall, (OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT?) a phantom, a smoke ring, a vapor- and my name is not, yours truly, BlackJackSilver (nor the name of a person who might possibly resemble same)

Climbing the Ranks

"Murrh."

"Norry!"

"Return my primer at once or suffer the consequences."

"Commodore! You've had yer bells rung a bit."

"Miss Swann?"

"Captain Jack Sparrow, mate. You need to sit up."

"Hanged you already. Did I not?"

"Tried to, but I'll not hold that against you."

"Sparrow?"

"Captain Sparrow, aye?"

"Am I- blind?"

"Possibly. You'd never know it in here, though. It's completely dark."

"What am I doing here?"

"Right now, I'd say you're hugging me."

"How did I get here?"

"You tell me?"

"Where are we?"

"Tortola maybe. At least that's where I was 'fore I woke up here (1)."

"I was- I was at Taphus (2). How ever did you know that it was me?"

"Well first, I very cleverly tripped over you. Felt around a bit at yer uniform. Then there's yer scent. Now maybe all commodores smell like you. I took my chances."

"Pray tell me, have you 'felt around a bit' at anything other than my person? Did you feel around in a constructive way, at the door, walls, floor?"

"Aye. I've felt up the whole bloody cell, mate, fer the petty joy it's given me. There's no door that I can find. Likely they dropped us in from somewhere up above. This is a right nice oubliette though- spacious, lots of straw!"

"Am I to take it that you have been dropped into a lot of oubliettes?"

"Not a lot of places I've not been."

"Somehow, I don't doubt that."

"How do you feel, James?"

"Commodore Norrington, and I feel like hell, Sparrow."

"That's Captain Sparrow, Jimmy lad."

"Commodore Norrington, Captain Sparrow."

"Knew you'd warm up to me, Commodore."

"Let me go!"

"I would but yer holding on to me, mate. Can you manage to stand on your own?"

"Yes. It would appear that I can."

"Good! Can you hold my weight?"

"You expect me- to allow you to climb on me? Am I correct?"

"Aye! When you feel up to it, Commodore. I know climbing rank rather than rigging softens a man. You just take your time."

"According to rank, I should be climbing on you, Captain."

"Ah now there is a pretty picture. Perhaps we should climb out of here first, Commodore? Or, can't you wait?"

"Sparrow!"

"It's Captain Sparrow, Jimmy love."

"Fine. Captain Sparrow."

"Commodore, I'll be the one doing the climbing, as you are but a blushing virgin when it comes to oubliettes. I already searched the walls I could reach. Only makes sense fer me to do the climbing, as I am the only one here with experience as my guide."

"So long as you don't enjoy this."

"Can't promise that. I enjoy everything I do- best part of being me!" A hand grabs Norrington's sleeve and drags him forward into the darkness and to the left. "Let's start here. I feel dead lucky about this spot!"

Jack takes his boots off, sets them in the straw by the wall. He slowly and carefully climbs onto Norrington's shoulders. Jack feels every inch of wall. He finds a sticky spot but nothing else of interest.

"Commodore? Can you support me with your hands? Lift me higher up?"

Norrington braces his forehead against the wall and puts his hands on Sparrow's feet idly wondering what his uniform must now look like. Jack adjusts his feet into Norrington's hands and balances himself as he surges upward. Jack finds what he is looking for with his right hand, a ledge about four inches wide.

Norrington is surprised when Jack's weight lifts off of him. He realizes that some part of him had accepted that they would search and find nothing, that he would die of thirst in a rather spacious and well-furnished oubliette, providing that Sparrow did not kill him first in order to eat.

"I've found the door, Commodore. There's no handle, no hinge, no keyhole. Someone would have to pull it open from the other side, I suspect. Must be bolted somehow. Love to take a running jump at it. Unfortunately, I'm standing on a very small ledge. Oh, above the door, there's a wider ledge!"

Norrington imagines Sparrow climbing again but in fact can hear nothing to confirm this.

"I'm above the door now, Commodore. We are as good as free! Now all we have to do is wait for the opportune moment to arrive via this door."

Norrington exhales the deeply miserable breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Captain, do you really expect that someone will open that door to bring us food and water?"

"To gloat, mate. Someone will come along and open this door to gloat. Why go to all the trouble of capturing us and tossing us down here, if not to indulge in the luxury of a really good gloat at our expense? Now to do that someone will have to open this door before we die, yeah? Don't you know anything about villains, Commodore? Terrible fashion sense, love to hear themselves talk, always need the last bloody word-"

"All like you, then? Are they, Captain?"

"Without me warmth, charm, and benign sense of fun. Speaking of fun, know any songs, Commodore?"

Oh dear God no. "Please? Don't sing?"

"You need a laugh, mate. Come on, let's sing a lovely song! Make you feel better?"

"I don't know any songs."

"That's all right! I know a load of 'em. Here's one fer ya-"

'A king may ask Heaven for all manner of things-  
gold by the ton and the power it brings,'

'land from the mountain right down to the shore,  
fine men to waste courage and die taking more,'

'fear that may guard him while loyalty sleeps,  
scapegoats to lock up in castles and keeps,'

'slaves to undress him and bend their backs low,  
horses to ride when a servant's too slow,'

'bishops to nod and to pat his fat head,  
should he chop up his queen just to freshen his bed.'

'A king may ask Heaven for godhood on earth,  
though he sins like the devil and squanders his birth.'

'But I have just one wish and I'll ask the Sea,  
may the wind and the waves bring my freedom to me.'

'If a king can find Heaven it's no place to be,  
So kings can keep Heaven and I'll take the Sea.' (3)

"I love that song!"

"Truly, I am in awe, Captain. That song is lewd, blasphemous, and treasonous. It far exceeded my every expectation for vile impropriety. Men have hanged for less. In fact they have burnt quite thoroughly through at the stake- so I'll be certain only to hum it at the Governor's residence next time he entertains clergy."

"Humming? How scandalous! You'll be the life of the party, Commodore."

"That would require only a bit of breathing. Captain Sparrow, out of curiosity- how did you know to look just there for the door?"

"Closest to where I woke up."

"Indeed?" Could this experience become any more humiliating?

"You wearing underpants, Commodore?"

"Tell me that you have some valid point to your inquiry that does not involve another song."

"If you remove yer coat and britches, with my boots and your hat, you can make a very dashing straw man. Whoever opens this door will be expecting to see the two of us down there. Might give us a bit more time, aye?"

Norrington removes his coat and starts stuffing the sleeves with straw. "Captain?"

"Commodore?"

"Am I correct in thinking that once you manage to free yourself, you will be so good as to help me to escape?"

"Wouldn't leave a rat down there. I certainly won't leave you there, Commodore. You've my word on that. Besides, you've got my boots. I don't go anywhere without my effects."

"What if I had refused to help you, unless I had done the climbing?"

"I would have felt dead lucky on the other end of the cell. Lifting you would have worn me out long before we got to the door."

"At which time you would have suggested trading places?"

"Pirate! Good we didn't waste all that time, in'it? About finished with your masterpiece, Commodore?"

"I've stuffed a straw man, if that's what you mean."

"Good! You two fine gents come sit here against this wall."

Norrington is rather impressed, he realizes. Whatever else might be said of Sparrow, there are far worse with which to share a cell. "From how many prisons, of one sort or another, have you escaped, Captain?"

"All of them, Commodore, every last one. There really is no way to cage a free man. Never stops anyone from trying, though."

"Are you speaking metaphorically, perhaps?"

"And literally, but why trouble yerself? No difference betwixt a metaphorical prison and a literal one."

"No offense, but that idea sounds quite insane."

"Sanity? I broke out of that prison a long while back and no offense taken, Commodore."

"Cleanliness! You certainly tore the bars off that one with your bare hands."

"Used my teeth. We've both found our way out of that one in case you hadn't noticed."

"But I'll turn myself in again at the first opportunity."

"I might drink a bit of rum first thing, truth be told."

"You could bottle your sweat judging by how you reek of it."

"If only!"

"I suspect you like to play mad the same way that you like to play pirate, Captain."

"I suspect you like to play content the same way that you like to play commodore, Commodore."

"I am content, Sparrow."

"Aye? Then I'm mad, Jimmy Norrikins, completely mad! You are too, to be content with content."

"You imagine I would be happier engaging in acts of piracy, Captain Sparrow?"

"Everyone would be happier a pirate, Commodore. You'd be an especially good one, though."

"So in your professional opinion, I am cut out to be a pirate?"

"Oh, a pirate's pirate, aye. I believe I just heard our opportune moment approaching. Tell me a story. Anything at all, just talk."

"A story? When I was five, my brother and I used to play pirates. We folded hats out of paper and fashioned swords out of sticks. We collected shells on the beach and buried them for our treasure. One day we built a ship- a pitiful raft, really. We sailed quite far from shore. The raft broke apart. I held onto a piece of it and got swept back into the shallows. My brother Robert, who was three years my senior and a much stronger swimmer- Robert never made it back. My parents were on the continent at the time. The servants summoned them back to Portsmouth. Their ship was lost. God knows how, though piracy was suspected, of course. I went to live with my uncle, who was an Admiral- a very hard and cold man. He was the man I never wanted to grow up to become."

"You haven't, James."

"I know, Jack. Thank you."

Metal scrapes stone and the door opens. Daylight is blinding. A head appears, bending slightly, to inspect the two figures propped against the wall below. Jack drops his legs and kicks out hard as he can without risking his balance. The man falls forward into the pit. Jack lowers himself like a monkey and swings into the open doorway. He now is standing in sunlight on a stone structure, part of a fort once, from the look of it (4). Jack sees a jolly boat on the beach and one set of footprints.

"Behave yourself down there, lad, and I won't let the Commodore rough you up too badly."

"He's dead. You broke his neck."

Jack peers over into the oubliette. The corpse is rather tall and thin with ginger hair, a beard, and a prominent beak of a nose. "Now look, if ya'd not taken all your straw from that one bloody spot-"

"Oh, it is not as if I'm going to hang you for it! Saved me strangling him."

"So who is he, then? I don't recognize him. No rope burns about the neck so clearly he's not an old friend of yours."

"Quite right." Norrington shakes what he dearly hopes is the last straw from out of his breeches.

Jack props the door open with a rock though he doubts that the breeze is strong enough to slam it.

"James, I'm coming right back when I've found something for pulling you out. Would you like me to sing another song so you'll know that I've not wandered off?"

"Absolutely not."

Jack came right back from the boat with a length of rope and a flagon of fresh water. He ties one end of the rope to a nearby palm that looks sturdy enough and tosses the other end down to James.

"Here, tie that end off ta him so we can haul him out later."

Norrington dressed in full uniform again, searches the corpse, pockets what he finds, ties the rope around the corpse's ankles, tucks Jack's boots into the waistband of his breeches, and climbs the rope. At the top, Jack gives him a hand up. He returns Jacks boots. Jack passes him the flagon of water.

"This is Tortola. The Pearl's anchored just round the other side. Our effects are in the jolly boat," Jack says, hopping in one boot while pulling on the other.

"Not all of our effects, Jack." Norrington reaches into his pocket and hands Jack the 'broken' compass and his rings.

"Ah, ta very much, James! Did he have anything on him that wasn't our very own?"

"What he was wearing. I'll investigate as best I can. I doubt much shall come of it. He looks a pirate, plenty of scars, though no tattoos or brands. Do you think he was climbing the ranks, so to speak?"

"Could be. He would have made quite a name for himself had he crossed us both off the charts." Jack removes his hat, and addresses the corpse in the pit, "No hard feelin's, mate. Wasn't your day. Tell you what? You stay down there for a bit. I'll send some of my best lads back to pull you up and send you off in a proper burial at sea!" Jack returns his hat to his head, "Now then James, there's all manner of pirates in this old world. There's some who'd steal yer life-"

"-or, the Interceptor?"

"-or all my fun,"

"-or cursed Aztec gold?"

"-or your youth,"

"-or my friendship, perhaps? If I left it unguarded?"

James stops and holds out his hand. Deja vu. Jack shakes it anyway then lightly rests his hand on Norrington's shoulder. "Best get you to the Pearl, so you can surrender to cleanliness- if you can find it. Then I'll teach you some drinking songs! Could take you on as cabin boy, if you ask nicely?"

"Were I to sign on, throwing away a distinguished career in the King's Navy in order to join a crew of depraved pirates, Captain, I'd settle for nothing less than First Mate; or isn't there a difference between cabin boy and First Mate on your ship?"

"A difference? Nah, not really. Only, if you were cabin boy Ana Maria wouldn't order you about so much."

"As attractive as your offer sounds I'd prefer swimming the last leg to the first suitable port you pass."

"I'll deliver you dry to the dock at Port Royal, if you are certain that you wish to go back?"

"You seem surprised that I'm not eager to fulfill my one true destiny as a pirate's pirate?"

"That's Captain's pirate, to you, James."

"Captain's Commodore, to you, Jack."

"Well, Tortuga wasn't built in a day, either! Speaking of which, when was the last time you had a proper holiday, hmm? Could do a bit of investigating of that poor devil. Never know what your keen mind and my connections might turn up. We'll hit some bad weather- that's a given. Have to make a few stop overs, the odd side trip or two, resupplying, recruiting, repairs, a good careening, a few surprises no doubt. If we're not too careful, I'll wager it could take us bloody months to reach Port Royal!"

History and other juicy end notes:

(1) Tortola, (not to be confused with Tortuga), is an island in what is now the British Virgin Islands. Yes, I know you already knew this! I just threw it in to annoy you. Pirates were the first Europeans to take an interest in it, for resources, bases, partying, careening, wooing, tanning, and laying low.

(2) Taphus (Dutch for alehouse) was what is now Charlotte Amelie on the island of in (now) the American Virgin Islands. The name changed in 1691, the year before the earthquake that sank the better part of Port Royal, Jamaica. A word about the timeline- I'm as confused as everyone else. Best guess- the movie was set circa 1670. Port Royal was getting strict, but still there; and Tortuga was pure piratical paradise. Jack and Norrington have crossed paths a couple of times since the movie, though not all that much time has passed.

(3) Jack Sparrow wrote this song, but that was none of Norrington's business. Right now, it is called "Why it's Better to Be a Pirate, than a King, or the Bloody Church, Not to Mention Some Little Landlubber Who's Too Cowardly to Get His Bleeding Feet Wet." I told him I thought the title needs work. Jack sings often, drunk and sober, in tune and out depending on the company- and more than just endless "Yo Ho", mates.

(4) Ruins of a fort existed on Tortola until 1962, when a resort was built on top of what was left. This was my first reason for setting this story on Tortola. My second reason? The Virgin Islands might have proved a draw for both Norrington and Sparrow. I didn't care what either were actually doing there. I didn't think they would ask or tell the other anyway. As to their host, I know his story in general, and might get round to telling it, perhaps in a companion piece at some later date, muse willing.

(related apocrypha)

Mr. Gibbs assures me there was, in fact, an oubliette at the site of the ruined fort in Tortola prior to 1962, he went on to say that it had been "carved into the very living rock by a giant sea turtle, oh aye, a giant sea turtle, bent on layin' her eggs where no pesky pirate, 'ud dig em up an eat em" but he was drinking heavily and straight from the rum barrel. His claim could not be confirmed by another source. Jack said it would be telling. Ana told me to get my recording device out of her face or she would- you get the picture. Mr. Cotton, in direct response to my question, drew a nice picture of a sunflower, reflected in a raindrop. His parrot had an acute case of laryngitis, or the parrot equivalent, but said "Hhhuhh Hhhuhh huh hehuh huheeh" and wolf whistled a bit. All others denied knowledge or refused the opportunity to comment. I preferred to believe Gibbs, because I too am a mad pirate, unused to being believed, no matter what I say. I was also drinking at the time. If no oubliette ever existed at this location, then obviously Jack's wee adventure happened somewhere else, din'it? Thank you for taking the time to read all the way to the end. I thought I was the only one who read little notes at the bottom! Give yourself a big hug from me.


End file.
